Friday, 6 April 2012

...Bumbling Bemusement

This weeks bumble comes courtesy of my old nemesis, cling film. I, like most people in London/United Kingdom/The World in general make sandwiches for lunch and like most people in London/United Kingdom/The World, my sandwiches are too full and lush to be contained by tupperware. That and I don't really have much tupperware. So the only solution is cling film and then it begins. I spend at least 5 minutes a day trying to find the beginning of said stupid role and then, RAAAAAA!!! The rage sets in and such thoughts like the ones to follow fly through my head and it takes everything inside me not to burn down the kitchen. Instead it leaves me weeping uncontrollably in a crumpled heap in the middle of the kitchen, desperately clutching said role muttering in between sobs "I can't even destroy you because I can't get you off the role! Why won't you come off the role?" It is a sad, sad sight to see.

Who invented such an evil device? Was it some twisted scientist who was mocked from a young age because he couldn't use the twisty tie thing so instead invented cling film?! Boo hiss. It is the one and only thing that can send me into a blind rage. That and constantly kicking/stubbing/general tripping over the baby gate. RAAAAA BABY GATE! But that is another subject matter altogether. It has however led me to investigate the evil genius behind cling film. 

So like every computer literate university student desperately trying to pad out an essay, I hit Google and typed in "Who invented cling film?" I should, if this were an essay, receive full marks for being so damn clever. My favourite search result came up from Yahoo answers and some poor sod, like me, enraged by cling film, wants to know the evil genius behind it as well. This should be fun.

It wasn't fun. My brain aches and I've had to switch to the gentler side of The Black Keys album "Brothers" to rectify the problem. Now all of you out there who are so damn curious to know who it was are going to have to research it yourselves, muahahahaha! I can tell you it was made in the late 60's early 70's by some canadian dude who clearly had a lot of time on his hands. However my favourite answer from Yahoo answers was that the Klingons invented it. I much prefer this answer and it makes me chuckle to think of them bent over a table (not like that, sickos) thinking up ways to piss off the human race. Very well done sirs and err madams....?

However I have ranted for far too long over the absurd origins of said cling film. The battle however still rages on and up and down the country people, just like you and me are falling, demented and broken over the use of cling film. This needs to stop! There should be some sort of organisation set up to help people like this. I for one don't have the time or energy to do this so I am relying on you, the people, to do it for me. For now I will crawl back onto the battlefield and wage war once more. Fingers crossed I'll make it back alive or at least with my diginity intact.

Heres hoping.

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